I pray my memory doesn’t allow you to miss me without missing the me in me and not the me you purported I gave you. I gave you more me than ever I ever cared how much I needed to keep me for myself. So to this day, I won’t say I miss you. I’ll just say somebody else got you. Like the bus. You weren’t meant for me to catch you. Missing a person should be like missing a bus. No sadness involved. I’ll find another to take me to where I need to be. I didn’t miss you. I just wasn’t supposed to take you.
I was your boyfriend yes but I hope you remember me more for who I was than what I was. We got too lost trying to find each other became two lost, trying to find ourselves. The good times were off the hook. You can get hung up on them. Even phones get hung up when they’re off the hook. Why not people? I should never have looked at ‘us’ like just some favor you granted me. If it’s ours, we both own it. Not just me. In the end, I expected too much from love. And it’s better to have a cold than to have expectations.
Id say I can’t believe it but that would be a lie — I can. Because I know better and I suspect we all do. I’ve known better since I was 15. It only took 15 years for me to learn the ways of this world.
All I wanted was my other . The one just like me. But not me. The other sock. One sock without the other is worthless. There’s no warmth in it. It stinks. By itself. Together you can’t even notice the smell. Hole in me alone. A WHOLE ME together.